returning to the Shepherd’s side

“What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray? And if he finds it, truly, I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that never went astray. So it is not the will of my Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish.”
~ Matthew 18:12-14 ESV (emphasis added)

what the Shepherd sees

Imagine the large flock of a shepherd. There in the green pastures is everything the sheep need. The trustworthy shepherd knows every nook and cranny and leads them diligently. He knows about the rocky crags, the bogs, the rivers, and which way the wolves come from. He sees and knows all. He watches closely and keeps tabs on every animal beneath his gaze. 

They aren’t just numbers. 

Every so often, one under the staff-holder’s protection will wander off to follow a trail of green goodness that, unbeknown to the creature, comes near a cliffside. The sheep is ignorant. Not so the shepherd. I can imagine the shepherd calls as he sees his little one meander further away from the flock, unaware of the danger. All the sheep sees is the goodness before him. He is totally unaware of the sheer drop just to the side of the path. The shepherd calls again and comes nearer. It is not his will that one would perish. 

And yet, he does not keep his sheep penned up in a barn where they are fed by hand and where no danger can possibly get at them. They have a certain realm of freedom. And so, with this freedom, there is the chance of sheep going the wrong way.

We have this freedom too. And many times we go the wrong way.

subtle wandering

Humanly speaking, we often think that our choice to wander away from our Good Shepherd will manifest as an outwardly obvious decision. Sometimes it is outright defiance. Other times, though, our stubborn rebelliousness may not be apparent to us. I’ve learned that, more often than not, my own wandering begins as a slow meandering after what is good. Before I realize it, I am focusing too much on the good and less on the source of good: God Himself.  I slowly, unsuspectingly, put distance between myself and Him. 

The Lord has given us a broad land and much freedom to roam, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t still pitfalls nestled among the hills. Thankfully, He knows them all and He calls us when we go too far. Are we listening?

aiming for ambition

Years ago the Lord blessed me with a fruitful photography business. If I were a wooly mammal you might say that the meadows before me were the greenest grass ever seen. I grazed there with joy and thanked my God for such bounty. But as it happened, I frolicked in these swaths of goodness and my roaming took me to some distant corners. Perhaps I stole glances to see where my Shepherd was, but, seeing that He wasn’t too far away, I decided to explore closer to the borders.

Now, beyond this metaphor, these distant corners looked a lot like ambition. The grass was really green and perhaps I thought I could acquire more fruit for my labor than what I had already been graciously given. 

Here’s a cliff edge I tottered on: Why not try to make the most of myself and go beyond what God had given me? Little blind lamb that I am. The world chanted from the other side of the fence, “Join us! It’s green and sweet over here!”  Inwardly, I tried to justify my ambition by claiming it for God’s glory. Unfortunately, I’ve now read too many history books not to know how flimsy this proclamation is when there is human acclaim at stake too. 

There was that cliff right in front of me, and the world’s hollering at me to “make this year your year!” I decided to go for it and hop that fence to the other side. Poor, ignorant sheep.

drawn back into the fold

Then the shepherd’s hook curved around me; I hadn’t seen it coming. Just as I was about to enter into a full-scale run at making my photography something of greatness, my body physically gave out. I was confined to my bed for two entire weeks! 

And the Lord showed me very clearly that I had begun to wander from His chosen place for me. 

I hadn’t seen the pitfall between ambition’s greenery and the fence keeping me from it. But God knew it was there.  Would I have recovered if God had allowed me to try it? I cannot know for sure. At the time, it didn’t feel wonderful to be saved from danger. Still, I know the pain would have been more significant if God had allowed me to go beyond His boundary for me. 

He said, “Return to me.”

I knew it was my choice to keep trying to follow my ambition. But I chose not to.

returning to the Shepherd’s side

“The sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out…he goes before them and sheep follow him, for they know his voice.” 
~ John 10:3-4 ESV

Knowing how dearly Jesus loved me and how carefully He watched me, by His grace, I followed Him away from the cliff’s edge. I returned to Him. And my prayer is that I will always choose to return to Him. My aim is never to stray but, foolish sheep that I am, I know the Lord will warn me when I do. He will call for me to return.

He calls his people to return. To hear and turn.

So, let us walk with soft hearts, 

“For he is our God, 
And we are the people of his pasture,
And the sheep of his hand.
Today if you hear his voice,
Do not harden your hearts, as at Meribah,
As on the day at Massah in the wilderness,
When your fathers put me to the test
And put me to the proof, though they had seen my work.”
~ Psalm 95:7-9 ESV

So, little sheep, what if you have—knowingly or unknowingly—wandered beyond God’s pastures in search of more than what He has given you? What if you have filled your mouth with tempting, forbidden fruit? Then, my friend, let us “be not like a horse or a mule, without understanding, which must be curbed with bit and bridle, or it will not stay near” (Psalm 32:9 ESV). Let us return and repent, knowing that He meets us on the road, every time.

He is not willing that any of us should perish.