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reaching toward home
Reaching toward one thing unavoidably requires distancing from another. In this case, I was pulling away from God and His wisdom, and from my family, to try and get my needs met. I was looking to my own enjoyments to obtain peace, rest, fulfillment—things that only He can provide. My peace and contentment can’t be found anywhere else but with the Father. Looking back, I can see the ways that I refused to go to Him with my need. While I was grasping at straws, He was still reaching out to me, watching over me. His hand was always extended. The answer to my desire was right there the whole…
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seeking renewal; pursuing peace
As a new year begins, I want to make it a practice to fill my mind and heart with all the things I have “learned and received and heard and seen” through the Word of God ... For we have been promised that if we “practice these things … the God of peace will be with [us].” Peace is such a rare and precious gift these days, as is knowing His constant presence. What a blessing, to step into this reality! And beyond that, to understand that we are being transformed by the renewing of our minds ...
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battle cry
As I write, war rages throughout our nation. Few, if any, would dispute the reality of the unrest, though there is both passive and vehement disagreement on nearly everything else. Who is the enemy? What is at stake? What is our strategy? How do we engage? Are we battling disease? Racism? The Establishment? Is this about an election cycle? A people group? Individuals? Are the core issues political? Social? Spiritual? And, at a personal level, where do I fit within the bigger picture? What do I believe, where do I stand, and what price am I willing to pay? Always of a reflective nature, I find myself sifting through countless…
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dawning glory
I have been stumbling blindly through these strange days, trying to find my footing. My equilibrium is wildly off-balance, swinging between extremes of frantic busyness and dull paralysis. This isn’t the first time God has pointed out to me that my erratic emotions need a tempering hand, nor will it be the last time He extends His to bring me back into peace. Peace. Shalom for body, soul, and spirit. Not the absence of trouble, fear, or uncertainty. Instead, a table prepared for feasting while my enemies swarm around. A resting place at the very center of the storm. “Come apart with Me,” He beckons, “Abide with Me, and be…
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hope deferred
One by one, I’ve been flinging open the doors to all the hidden closets in my heart, inviting the Spirit to blow through with His cleansing, invigorating breath. All the doors, that is, except this one. This one has remained tightly latched, painstakingly guarded, deliberately ignored. Until now. I wasn’t ready yet to write on this topic in my 20s, or even in my 30s. I’ve had to endure the long wait, to experience both love and loss, to learn to find hope on the other side of heartbreak. And now — now that I’ve spent time in all these excruciating, unsought valleys — I find myself in a new…
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Another Side of Surrender
A rather extreme set of peaks and valleys has loomed up over the past weeks. I find myself not only battling my own inner landscape, but trying to do it through a fog of what seems an awful lot like seasonal depression, as one snowy gray day follows another in oppressive succession. It is hard enough just to function — dragging my weary self out of bed is a daily struggle. I feel tired most of the time, and I have to work up even the most fleeting enthusiasm. I want to fight! I want to rid myself of this clinging monster, but I am so weak … as much as I hate…
