dawning glory

I have been stumbling blindly through these strange days, trying to find my footing. My equilibrium is wildly off-balance, swinging between extremes of frantic busyness and dull paralysis. This isn’t the first time God has pointed out to me that my erratic emotions need a tempering hand, nor will it be the last time He extends His to bring me back into peace.

Peace. Shalom for body, soul, and spirit. Not the absence of trouble, fear, or uncertainty. Instead, a table prepared for feasting while my enemies swarm around. A resting place at the very center of the storm. “Come apart with Me,” He beckons, “Abide with Me, and be My love.” Yet my overwrought soul shies away, hesitant to relax, reluctant to receive. Countless times in the past, He has proven Himself trustworthy. Still, I pull back, wary of His intent.

Patiently, He watches me nudge into all the fruitless corners where I’ve sought but never found escape. Did it take a moment less, this time, for me to realize no hope lay in such barren places? I wake up—a little more quickly now than before—to the fact that I’ve been running. I stop. I turn. I find Him waiting.

As always, my Love receives me back without reproach. His embrace is tender, healing, and my shame slips away like a tattered garment. He has been so eager for me to return, He says; He has a gift for me. He presses into my trembling hands a puzzle piece, at once both solid and transparent, and shimmering with light. He turns me in His arms and I kneel, finding at our feet the picture I’ve been agonizing over. Years have filled in so many pieces—meaning, beauty, pain, and grace entwine in a breathtaking panorama—yet gaping holes remain. Heart pounding, I study the work, straining my eyes to find the perfect place to press this new revelation. Wordlessly, He reaches out to draw my gaze … It fits!

It fits. Lord, how long have I been waiting? How long has it felt so close, but not quite? And now … Now, in the midst of global turmoil, rampant fear, enforced isolation, You would give this gift to me? The entirety of the puzzle remains a mystery, but here in this corner, one little section stands complete. I once was blind to its glory, but now … now, I begin to see. 

I see how You have been moving, shaping, positioning. I see how You have been stripping me of self-reliance, delusions of grandeur, selfish ambition, and pride. And, finally, I see her.

Not the she who was me, still crying out, in need of healing. But the she who has never known the Father’s loving touch, the forgiveness of the Redeemer, the freedom of Your Spirit. I can see the one You have gifted me to reach, and the words You will grant me to aid in her rescue. For in giving of myself, partnering with You, her wholeness will be accomplished … hers, and mine.

I’m speaking in riddles—parables, perhaps. It’s all so new and precious, I’m not quite ready to reveal the whole. For now, I can say this: I have been given a new clarity in my calling, a new understanding of the Kingdom work the Lord has given me to do, the message, the audience. I don’t know exactly what that means for wovenofwonder, or how things around here will shift. I do know that He has been faithful, will be faithful still. This work is His; this opportunity to speak, a privilege and responsibility.

Bless you for following along, for navigating the stops and starts of this winding journey with me. I am humbled by your support, your encouragement, your willingness to sit awhile with my words when so many worthy appeals demand your attention. I hope my reflections stir something in you, perhaps mirror back to you your own journey a bit. And from that perspective, I pray our Lord grants you some of the clarity, purpose, vision, that He has for you in this extraordinary season. He won’t waste a thing, after all. Now, Lord … let her SEE!