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emerging
I have gotten the rare pleasure of literally watching a butterfly come out of its cocoon. It was one of the most intriguing processes to witness. As each day passed, the outermost part of the cocoon’s skin began to thin until it was barely even there, entirely translucent. Suddenly it was gone. The most fascinating part was that the butterfly did not instantly fly away as I was anticipating. It laid very still, slowly starting to move parts of its body ...
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redeemed into Life
While I wish I could remember the sight of the exotic blooms that surely filled the greenhouse, or summon the warmth of the humid air that must’ve beaded droplets on the glass, all I really remember is the eternity I spent locked inside the metal and cement of a bathroom stall, sick to my stomach and aching for home.
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breaking ground to bring growth
Staring at my reflection I realize that the person looking back at me is not the little girl from the memory. Yet if I look deep enough, I see hints of her. The tears begin to pour like rain. I remember things I wish to forget. I fade quickly into the remembering, the pain and grief overtaking me. Then I breathe deeply and simply say the name, Jesus. Suddenly the memories fade, the room stops spinning and I am able to catch my breath again. I start to talk with Jesus.
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Releasing Secrets
Finding Freedom, part 1 **The posts in this series include sensitive content. Please read with discretion and preview before sharing with younger readers.** There are some topics within the body of Christ that are rarely touched. They might be seen as too divisive, extreme or eccentric; or they may simply be left alone out of ignorance, or perhaps fear. One of these is the concept of deliverance. Defined simply, deliverance means to rescue, or to set free. In a spiritual context, deliverance is the act of setting a person free from the grip of the enemy, free to love and worship and walk with God in a full and unhindered…
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Embattled Heart
The enemy is after my heart today. I can feel the anxiety stirring, a menacing presence roiling just below the surface. There is no reason for it — no immediate fear or dread — just a silent stalking. The seasons are changing. Darkness arrives earlier and earlier, swallowing up whole chunks of evening hours and magnifying the lies that seem so much easier to dismiss in the daylight. You are alone. You are powerless. No one hears your voice or cares what you have to say. You are a failure. There is no hope for you. The lies are a poisonous oil that seeps between the cracks in my armor.…
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Stirring the Gifts
A sense of tension stirs beneath the worship of our small fellowship these days; our elders addressed it again just this morning. There’s an underlying apprehension and expectation of what’s to come. I would love to know if this same stirring is manifesting itself in the wider Body of Christ, if it signifies a larger move of the Kingdom of God, or if it’s something more limited, unique to us. Personally, I experience it in the urgency to write, to reach beyond time and space and connect with those of similar spirit. I am convinced my Lord has called me to this, to speak forth His words for “such a…
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Another Side of Surrender
A rather extreme set of peaks and valleys has loomed up over the past weeks. I find myself not only battling my own inner landscape, but trying to do it through a fog of what seems an awful lot like seasonal depression, as one snowy gray day follows another in oppressive succession. It is hard enough just to function — dragging my weary self out of bed is a daily struggle. I feel tired most of the time, and I have to work up even the most fleeting enthusiasm. I want to fight! I want to rid myself of this clinging monster, but I am so weak … as much as I hate…
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The Final Word
I typically start out writing this kind of thing for myself, for personal healing, self-discovery. It’s a pattern God has established with me over the years: I write, He responds. Yet sometimes, in the midst of the process, the words take on a life of their own, as if the Spirit Himself is breathing into them, instilling them with a significance more far-reaching than anything I had intended. They are no longer mine; I am compelled to pass them on, in hopes that the freedom I receive can be multiplied. So if you are reading, this is for you. Fear is a deep, thick, ancient cancer curling around my heart,…
